So for the past few years I have been wondering “WHY”…Why can I not find “the one”?, Why am I stuck in this job? Why is God letting me be so miserable? Why is my family dealing with all the problems they are? and the list goes on. Here I am at 25 and I literally feel like my life is falling apart all around me. I had all of these plans and NONE of them are coming to pass. I feel like God has given me a dream but NOTHING is happening. I often look at others and how everything SEEMS to be going so great for them and then I wonder what is wrong with me??? I have only read the first 2 chapters of this book and I already feel like my hope has been renewed and that God is still in control.

Perhaps it isn’t the most dramatic “Plan B” story but it’s the one I am in the midst of now. As a young girl I had dreams of how life would be. Those were encouraged by “romanticized” movies and television. The dreams of how your children would be and how wonderful life would be as a family. My husband and I married late in life and started having children soon thereafter figuring that our time was limited. I was thrust into a new role of wife/mother/homemaker which entailed on the job training. It was a wonderfully awful time a mixture of joy at children and trial at all the things life hands you along the way. I never had much time to take a breath. Years later, I now have time to think about life. My title, although I will always be a “mom”, no longer will be “mommy”. Our children all but grown a new season is dawning upon us. It feels as though the sudden changes (most of my children moving out within a few months of one another) have put a screeching halt on all that I thought I was. This, along with other changes within the same period of time caused me to lose my footing. It’s as though I am walking in circles looking at the walls and wondering who I am and if my life has made any difference. Along with that are years of unresolved conflicts/issues that my husband and i have “buried” and they have decided to resurrect themselves and haunt us. We look at one another and wonder “who is that and do I even like them any more?” What’s more is looking in the mirror and asking the same question. Life is not what I had thought it would be…time seems too short to make much of a difference. I am looking at Plan B….the real life story (not the idealistic/fairy tale). We were sold a “bill of goods” and now we find that it was written on toilet paper. I am hoping to find, in the Plan B time of my life that the God, whose name I bear, will show Himself as He is. He asks me to “Be still and know that He is God.” That I must do if I am to make it to the end…know Him…for real.

Lansing, MI